I have been single 19 years and I have learned a great deal about myself, society and how people function. I have, like many, learned the hard way that life is not always greener on the other side of the fence.
– Firstly, we all grow up with unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is going to be like. We totally expect that it will be amazing in everyway. We very rarely think about conflict, or power and control issues, as we are just so positive that love will conquer all.  Many of us who have been in relationships before, and may or may not have children, have particular issues that they have to deal with. This makes trying to date again, just a tad more complicated.  So make sure you have done some work on the issues from the past before moving on.

The simple fact is that we are products of our environment and not all environments are healthy. So we take on lots of patterns of relating that may not be conducive to a healthy relationship.   The challenge for all of us before moving on is to perhaps look at seeing a professional to try and figure out where we went wrong. In other words learn from your mistakes, do not attempt to go into another relationship before you make sure you have dealt with the past. Give yourself time to become a better you.   No relationship is perfect and if you are seeking for perfection you are delusional. It does not exist..

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My ADVICE: Now this advice is a little biased, but I have heard of many men having some of these similar experiences so please do not think I am bashing men to pieces, as there are lots of great guys out there somewhere!
-Give yourself time to find you.
-Do not go out in desperation to find someone else.
-Get a good counselor or therapist to help you work through things you should not be unloading on friends and family.
-Do not be naïve when you go out. Do not always give out your phone number when asked; ask them for theirs or their business card.
-Some people are very predatory and just focusing on one thing, be aware.
-Not everyone out there is single, do not be fooled, it is the truth.
-Because you are vulnerable, some people will do and say all the things you have been longing to hear, so do not trust anyone until you really get to know them better.
-Be aware of whom you are really dating, google them, Facebook them, do a search on LinkedIn; make sure they are whom they say they are.
-There are people in prison who are online; there are fraudsters and scammers on every dating website.
-Never ever be intimate before the sixth date or maybe more, trust that little voice in your head, do not devalue yourself, or let yourself be conned into an intimate situation.
-Never go to his place until you know him, and never invite him to your place until you have been dating for a while. It is your safe place. Do not underestimate anyone.
-If you meet someone new from a dating site, meet at a coffee shop, pay for your coffee. Always pay until you are officially dating and then figure it out.* I was left with a bill on a date as he really was certainly not a gentleman and he realized I was not easy, so disappeared and went to warshroom and never came back.*
-Never go on a dinner date in an expensive restaurant when you are first dating as I did, and then he expected sex afterwards, times have changed, and be aware.
*As mature adults, we all long for real connected intimacy and sex, but it comes at a price if you give in too soon, believe me.*
-NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE LEND MONEY TO ANYONE (I personally can tell you a few stories of friends who got involved and even engaged to someone, and lent them money, and then found out they had been conned.)

Lastly, life is not a fairy tale and this world has become a very selfish one, where people are out to just get as much as they can from others. Many reading this will probably think I am paranoid, I am not but if you are one of my new friends and you are newly single, I hope you will appreciate my advice. Trust your intuition and if you are not sure of a situation, feel free to contact me and I will give you my best advice that I can… Now I wish you all a happy life, it is a big world out there, get out and see the world, travel, and do the things you always dreamed about, do not put your eggs in one basket, take the yellow brick road, you never know…….